An unusual wedding (mine)

So, Donald and I got married on May 8th. He’s already blogged about it, with pictures. I don’t have any pictures yet, so if you want to see some, you’ll have to go to his blog. (Neither of us had the chance to take a lot of photos during our wedding, unsurprisingly, but Donald copied his mom’s memory card onto his computer before she flew back to Louisiana.)

It was kind of an untraditional wedding. We did get married in a church (we both attend church regularly, so that was important to us). The words we said in exchanging our vows were pretty typical. Our minister married us. But we pretty much dispensed with all the other traditions.

To begin with, we got married during a normal Sunday church service, instead of having a separate wedding service. I’d felt for a long time that a traditional formal wedding wasn’t for me, but my faith in God and connection to my church are important enough to me that I didn’t want to disconnect my wedding ceremony from those, and go the courthouse route. And it always seemed to me that the essential parts of a church wedding really only take about 10-15 minutes (“do you take this man, do you take this woman, etc, etc, I now pronounce you husband and wife”). A lot of the other parts–the Bible readings, the songs, the homily–seem to be there to pad the service out to a half hour or so, so people from out of town feel that it was worth it for them to travel for hours just to get there. Or, less flippantly, they’re there to make the wedding into more of a church service. So I thought, why not just stick the wedding into the middle of an actual church service?

I also felt that there can be so much pressure to make the wedding into a picture-perfect spectacle that a lot of other important things can get lost or forgotten. It’s a lot of work, planning a wedding, even such a simple wedding as ours. I didn’t want our attention (or anyone else’s) to be on my dress, or the flowers, or the decorations, or the bridesmaids’ gowns, or any of that other stuff. I wanted it to be about the commitment that the two of us were making to each other, and the trust we were putting in God to help us keep it.

Fortunately, Donald was totally on board with having a simple wedding, and maybe even a little bit relieved that I wasn’t going to try to pressure him into wearing a tux or tailcoat, and he wasn’t going to get dragged around to look at flowers and tablecloths.

So, the wedding was during an actual service, which meant there were people at the ceremony who weren’t wedding guests. I wore a knee-length sleeveless blue and white dress, and didn’t carry flowers. We didn’t have bridesmaids or groomsmen. I didn’t walk down the aisle, nor was I “given away” (both sets of parents were asked to stand and give their blessing during the ceremony, though). The songs, sermon and Bible readings were all there as part of the normal church service.* And no one read 1 Corinthians 13! Yay!**

We did exchange rings, and we did kiss once the minister announced we were married! No sense throwing out the baby with the bath water!

We also skipped the professional photographer and posed photographs, and headed straight to the reception from the wedding. The reception was just at our old apartments (before getting married, we lived in upstairs and downstairs apartments of a two-family house), no sit-down dinner, or dancing (Donald was relieved about that, too), or embarrassing speeches from friends and family. We had a buffet of cold finger food catered by Whole Foods (sushi, veggie and fruit platters, plus various dip and cracker/chip assortments), plus cheese and wine selected by my friend Bob. Bob also baked the cake, a delicious lemon genoise with lemon frosting. It was all very relaxed, and people seemed to have a good time. We had a good time too, which I hear is not necessarily the case at one’s own wedding. Of course, we had a lot of friends and family helping to keep things running smoothly during the reception, and cleaning up afterwards! Without them, we wouldn’t have had nearly such a good time.

We also had a Saturday afternoon party (the day before the wedding) for out-of-town friends, and friends with children (the Sunday night reception was pretty late, so we thought it would be nice to have something at an earlier hour for people with kids). And the day before that (Friday), Donald and I took our families out to Legal Seafood for dinner. I was glad to spend all that time with family and friends, instead of spending it getting my hair and nails done, or making table centerpieces!

Donald’s parents and sisters were all able to attend, and his sisters’ daughters. My parents, grandfather, brother and sister were also there, and my sister brought her daughter, but unfortunately my brother’s wife and two sons couldn’t make it (they live in Europe, and airfare is pretty expensive).

I’m glad we did our wedding this way! It was much less expensive than most weddings (under $4000), and less stressful. And we got to focus on the things that were important to us, not the things that the Wedding Industrial Complex thinks ought to be important. Thankfully we both have tolerant and understanding families who were supportive of us in our desire to celebrate our wedding our way, and we’re very grateful for that.

We then went and spent all the money that we’d saved*** on the honeymoon, which I’ll hopefully find time to write about before too much longer.

* This sort of wedding is not for everyone. For instance, because the wedding was part of a regular church service, we didn’t get to pick the Bible readings and songs. We were okay with this (one less task to do!), but some couples might not be.
** I have nothing against 1 Corinthians 13, but reading it at weddings is kind of overdone, especially considering that it isn’t even about marriage or romantic love!
*** This is an exageration. We didn’t spend that much money on the honeymoon. I mean, it was Italy. In May. For 2 weeks. And we didn’t live exclusively off of pizza and sandwiches. (One of my goals was to spend more on the honeymoon than on the wedding, but I haven’t added up all our receipts to see whether we managed it. My other goal was to plan the wedding without reading a single bridal magazine, and I did accomplish that goal.)

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Prairie Fire review

My story “Woman Moving to the Country” was published in Prairie Fire magazine at the beginning of this year, and I promised in my blog post announcing the publication that I would write about the other stories in the issue once I received my contributor’s copy. Well, um, they weren’t that slow in sending it. I just haven’t been able to make time before now. The first few months of this year were rather busy, for some reason.

Prairie Fire is a quarterly Canadian print literary magazine, publishing both short fiction and poetry (the issue I was in featured 6 stories, an essay, and 21 poems). I feel I should offer the disclaimer that I tend to write and read mostly genre, not literary, fiction; which means that I might be looking for different things in a story than the typical target reader of a literary journal such as Prairie Fire. So don’t assume I know what I’m talking about here!

For me, the most memorable stories were Colin Snowsell’s “The Driver” and Kirsten Madsen’s “The Cold Snap”. Snowsell’s story makes effective use of an unreliable narrator, and a twist ending that the reader sees coming soon enough to appreciate the poignancy of the situation, but not so soon that the twist feels too obvious. “The Cold Snap” is primarily about the narrator’s affair with an older married man (37 years old! Ancient!), but also about her relationships with the other people in her life. I appreciated how we see her assessment of other people change and deepen as she comes to know them better, particularly her younger coworker at the coffee shop, and her lover’s wife. I wasn’t convinced that the titular cold snap was an essential aspect of the story, though. Madsen’s descriptions of the frigid northern Canadian winter were richly descriptive, but I ended up feeling that the same story could just as well have been set in any small, remote town.

Interestingly, all the stories in the issue were written in first person. I don’t know if this is more typical of literary fiction, or just coincidence; in the fantasy and science fiction world, we certainly don’t avoid first person, but I’d say the majority of stories are told in third person, and in fact, some prominent f/sf editors actively dislike first person. Maybe the intimate nature of first person works better for the more internal sorts of stories that literary fiction tends to feature? (Or maybe I should read a few more literary magazines before venturing such a judgment.)

It’s even harder for me to judge poetry than literary fiction, since I read even less of it. And since I tend to be more interested in plot and character development than in imagery or beautiful language, I’m really out of my depth with poetry. Having said this, among the poems in the issue I particularly liked “Harry Mayzell’s Suit” by Harold Rhenisch (because it tells a story), Ellen Shearer’s “Hydrangea (after Plath)” (I found the imagery striking, and I liked the bitter edge), and R. Johnson’s “cat walk” (possibly because of its scorn for those who don’t love cats, and because it’s also the story of a relationship, in all its brevity).

Anne Simpson was the featured writer for this issue, with 4 poems and an essay. I loved the gorgeous use of nature imagery in her poems, and found her essay on “Poetry and Community” challenging and thought-provoking in its exploration (among other things) of how writers, whose work is so often inward-focused, also need to look outside themselves into the lives and experiences of others.

The next issue of Prairie Fire is out now, featuring, among others, poet Neile Graham, whom I know from the Clarion West Workshop. It would have been lovely to have been in the same issue as Neile, but alas, it was not to be! If you didn’t have a chance to read the issue with my story, and would still like to, back issues are orderable here. The one you’re looking for is Volume 31, Issue 4, featuring Anne Simpson.

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Stats

A few years ago, I got an ice-cream maker for Christmas. I’d really wanted an ice-cream maker, and I got exactly the one I’d wanted (maybe this was because I’d put it on my Amazon wish list). For the first few months, I made ice-cream pretty much every week. Remember that I live in New England, and I got the ice-cream maker for Christmas (though apparently Bostonians have the nation’s highest per capita winter consumption of ice-cream).

However, gradually my initial frenetic ice-cream making pace slacked off, and now I think I make ice-cream maybe once or twice a year. Usually vanilla, to accompany pie or some other dessert for a special occasion. (Donald no doubt wishes I would increase the amount of homemade ice-cream appearing on our table at the expense of, perhaps, vegetables.) I still like ice-cream, and I still enjoy making it. It’s not even that much work. But, other things seem to have gotten in the way.

A glance at the number of blog posts I’ve written each month since I started this blog a little over a year ago might suggest that a similar thing has happened with this blog. 11 posts in May of 2010. 11 in June. 17 in July (a record!). Back down to 15 in August. And down, and down. Well. You can see the stats for yourself. I just got married*, and I haven’t even blogged about the wedding or our honeymoon trip to Italy. I mean, if I can ramble on for pages about a visit to the Tabasco sauce factory, surely I can make time to write about my trip to Italy?

Well, maybe. Probably not tonight though, since I’ve just used all my blogging time complaining about the fact that I haven’t been blogging.

In the meantime, if you’re desperately curious about the wedding and honeymoon, my husband Donald has been way better about keeping up with his blog than I have, so feel free to check out what he has to say.

* This may have something to do with the fact that I haven’t had much time for blogging the last few months.

Posted in Uncategorized, Vacation, Wedding | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

New story available in Mystic Signals

My story “The Shoemaker’s Daughter” is now out in Mystic Signals. You can download a PDF version for free right here.

If you like paper, a hard copy of the magazine is also available for $12. Once you get to the link, scroll down a little, and you’ll see it on the lower right.

“The Shoemaker’s Daughter” is another traditional fantasy, set in the world in which I’m writing that long fantasy series I’ve been working on forever. The story contains a brief shout-out to elves (so to speak), but no actual elves appear onstage.

The genesis of the story is perhaps a little odd, in that it was inspired by an NPR interview with a well-known former child celebrity whose career had been closely managed by his overbearing father. For some reason that stuck with me, and as it was tossing around in my head, I also started thinking about the part in Les Miserables where Jean Valjean rescues Cossette from the Thenardier family, who are supposed to be looking after her, but instead are working her to death as a servant. In that case, it turns out to be a good thing for Cossette that the mysterious stranger takes her away; but the Thenardiers don’t have any way of knowing that. What if the stranger’s motives were (possibly) less benevolent?

Enjoy!

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New story available online

My story “Sons of God, Daughters of Men” is now online at e-zine Strange, Weird, and Wonderful. It’s kind of creepy, and some people might find it disturbing. Reader discretion, etc etc.

People who’ve read my blog in the past might have noticed that I’ve been really, really bad about blogging the last few months. This is because I’m getting married in about a month’s time. Hopefully I can start blogging more after we get back from the honeymoon!

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Featured on Clarion “Writer’s Craft” blog

I’m featured in the latest installment of Lynda Williams’s “Writer’s Craft” series at the Clarion Foundation blog. If you’re interested in the process of writing, feel free to stop by! Today’s article addresses the question of whether it’s better to push through the first draft of a story without stopping (planning to revise later), or if instead you should do some revision as you’re going along (producing a better first draft).

Conventional wisdom, as handed down to new writers, often insists that you must just get through the first draft without worrying about how bad it is, and revise later. But I’m not convinced (though I’m not entirely convinced that this is wrong, either). I do think that experienced writers often fall into the trap of thinking that their way is best for everyone, and this can be disheartening to new writers if that way doesn’t happen to work for them.

Those who, like me, tend to do some revision along the way as they’re writing a first draft, or can’t continue with a scene until they’ve researched some worldbuilding detail, should be encouraged to know that not all successful authors belong to the “full speed ahead on the first draft” school. Several months ago, I listened to an interview on NPR with author David Mitchell (“named one of Time‘s most influential people”), who said he can’t keep writing a scene in an historical novel until he’s figured out how the room would have been lit at night.

If you have a writing technique that works for you, don’t let anyone else tell you you’re doing it wrong!

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New story out in Prairie Fire

My story “Woman Moving to the Country” is in the current issue of Prairie Fire, a Canadian literary magazine. Although I do write mostly fantasy and science fiction, I decided to venture into the mysterious realm of literary fiction for this one. Which I forgot to warn my mom about when she read an early draft: “I liked it, but I kept expecting something strange to happen.”

Those of you who live in Canada will have the easiest time finding this magazine. A friend of mine mentioned that she’s seen it at Chapters in Toronto. Libraries (especially university libraries) may also be good bets. It’s published in Winnipeg, so that’s probably the best city in which to find copies. (What? Not planning a trip to Winnipeg in February? For shame!)

It’s also possible to subscribe to Prairie Fire, saving 50% off the newstand price, and helping them to support more authors in the future.

Unfortunately I cannot yet comment on the other stories and poems in the issue, as I’m still waiting for my contributor’s copy (thank you, Canada Post and United States Postal System!). But I look forward to reading the work of all the other authors.

“Woman Moving to the Country” was originally written at Clarion West in 2008, and my workshop classmates had a lot of great suggestions for improving the story, as did that week’s instructor, Chuck Palahniuk. So, thanks! Also to my local writers group, BRAWL, who all insisted with one voice that I really needed to fix the ending. (I fixed it.)

Okay, this is starting to sound like a really dull Academy Awards acceptance speech. Enough of that!

I won’t say too much about the actual story, except that it has some funny bits, and a lot of avocados. And that there’s a sequel, of sorts, coming out in Aoife’s Kiss in December. (I’m back to fantasy with the sequel; that literary fiction stuff is just too weird!)

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The Joy of … Research

While thumbing through the Lonely Planet guide to Italy on my new Kindle, Donald found a reference to this book.

From the Publishers Weekly review:

‘Colorful frescoes, metal objects or ceramics are shown in 114 illustrations (95 in color), divided among nine chapters explaining ancient societal attitudes toward sex (“Woman on Top: Women’s Liberation in the First Century A.D”; “Laughing at Taboo Sex in the Suburban Baths”), while subheadings like “Priapus, Protection, and Penetration” offer scholarly and personal anecdotes.’

Since we both write about fantasy worlds inspired by ancient Rome, it would probably be a very useful reference for both of us.

We’ve not yet added it to our wedding registry, though.

(Oh, yeah, in case you didn’t notice on Facebook, Donald and I are engaged now. Yay! It’s very exciting, though a little overwhelming.)

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Don’t fear the eggnog

I used to be afraid of eggnog when I was younger. I don’t like either eggs or milk, and as I’m sure you’re all aware, both feature quite prominently. You can get soy eggnog these days, but I doubt that it’s the same thing. And I have weird food issues. Bananas, for instance. My hatred of bananas is, I am certain, more psychological than anything else, and many people (including Donald, who also doesn’t like bananas) have told me that plantains taste nothing like bananas. People who do like bananas say that plantains are gross, and that they taste nothing like bananas. And yet, I can’t bring myself to try one, because they look like bananas.

Eggnog was always the same. I liked chocolate milk, because the chocolate overwhelms the milk flavor. But eggnog? How could it not taste like egg? It says “egg” right in the name!

As I’ve gotten more and more into old-school cocktails, though, I have–cautiously, at first–extended my experiments to cocktails including raw egg. Initially I only tried the ones that used egg white but no yolk (such as the pisco sour, or Ramos gin fizz). Gradually, I worked up my courage enough to try the flip and the coffee cocktail, with their generous portions of whole egg. And you know what? You really can’t taste the egg. Honestly. They’re good cocktails. The egg adds richness and body, but it’s not gross and slimy. Or “eggy”. Not at all. And so, only in the past year or so, I’ve been able to ignore that word “egg” in the name of that favorite seasonal libation, and bring myself to drink eggnog.

Everything is better with alcohol, right?

Last night my roommates and I decided to have a pajama party. It’s sort of a running joke with us. One of my roommates was at a party where she overheard some women talking about an imaginary reality TV show they’d like to see, spoofing “Rock of Love”. From what I understand (I’ve never watched it), “Rock of Love” is about these women who go around bar-hopping trying to pick up random guys? Anyway, the joke was that there should be a show called “Cock Block of Love”, about women who are in their pajamas and ready for bed by 10 pm each night, and my roommate, who was eavesdropping, thought to herself, “Hey! That sounds like our apartment!”

Then, one of us found a retro card with the cover of a 1960s pulp fiction novel called “Pajama Party”, showing three women in various states of pajama-cladness, drinking cocktails and the tag line “Five campus cuties on a no-holds-barred spree!” (I guess they couldn’t fit enough skin on the cover if they put all five of the cuties in the picture? I don’t know.) Of course, the three of us tend to spend most of our time at home reading, writing, playing classical music, or studying; but we do sometimes enjoy a round of cocktails together in our pajamas. So we couldn’t resist putting the card up on our fridge. And we started talking about how we should have a real pajama party. Where we would stay up and eat junk food and watch chick flicks and paint our toenails. And drink cocktails, of course. Since it was mid-December by the time we got around to it, we decided that the most appropriate cocktail was eggnog.

I used the eggnog recipe in Dale DeGroff’s excellent book The Essential Cocktail: 3 eggs, 2 cups whole milk, 1 cup heavy cream, 1/2 cup sugar, 2 oz bourbon, 2 oz rum, freshly grated nutmeg. This was actually only half the recipe, which was supposed to serve 6. I suppose the amount I made does serve 3, if everyone wants seconds. And thirds. And maybe fourths. (If you divide the total amount of alcohol by 3, it is actually less alcohol per person than a typical serving size of alcohol; way more calories and cholesterol, though!)

How festive!

The pumpkin pie was made by my roommate Aubrey. We were supposed to eat it (or at least some of it) at the pajama party, but we felt too full after drinking all that eggnog! Ditto on the popcorn we’d been planning to make. So we’ll have to try the pumpkin pie today! Looks good, though, doesn’t it?

Clearly Dale DeGroff has been consulting with Rachael Ray on portion size

This is what was left in the bowl (of the theoretical 3 servings) after ladling out an initial cup for everyone.

It was very tasty, almost like a cold latte, with a liquid layer and a thick foam on top (I beat the egg whites separately and folded them in at the end). You couldn’t taste the eggs or milk at all!

We exchanged gifts, only I, um, hadn’t gotten around to buying any yet. (There’s still time!) Cory got me Ted Haigh’s book Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails, which is very awesome. I’d never even heard of many of these cocktails, and some of the ingredients are almost impossible to find, which is my favorite sort of recipe! And Aubrey got me a beautiful mortar and pestle. I don’t know what I’m going to get for them, now–the bar is set pretty high!

As far as our pajama party went, we watched the movie “Love, Actually”, which I’d never seen (though they had). It was good, though Donald and I had just seen the new Harry Potter movie the day before, and they have some of the same actors, which is always weird.

We didn’t have enough energy for any of our other grand ambitions for the pajama party, like home pedicures or crank-calling Donald upstairs. When the movie was over, we concluded that the best part of a pajama party is getting to go straight to bed afterwards without even having to change.

Posted in Cocktails, Food and drink | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

When in Rome … or not

Donald and I are both working on short stories and novels in imaginary fantasy settings inspired by ancient Rome. This is not a case of being influenced by someone you spend a lot of time with. We’ve known each other less than 2 years, and we both started developing these imaginary worlds when we were in highschool. It was a little spooky when we realized how similar some of the stuff we’d come up with was. Okay, maybe not; we have read a lot of the same books, after all. In any event, we figured we’d better start spending more time together, keep an eye on the competition. Before we knew it, we were dating.

Anyway. Today Donald and I thought it would be fun to prepare an “authentic” ancient Roman dinner. I have several books on Roman cooking, most making liberal use of Apicius (the most famous ancient Roman cookbook author). I’ve found the most accessible and interesting to be Ilaria Gozzini Giacosa’s A Taste of Ancient Rome (translated by Anna Herklotz; original title was A cena da Lucullo). The author is a foodie with an archaeology background, and her goal was to take recipes from Apicius, Cato and other sources and provide a version that a modern cook could follow. The ancient sources tend not to provide a lot of detail. They’ll give the ingredients (most of them), and some vague clues as to preparation. America’s Test Kitchen it ain’t! Giacosa’s versions of the recipes should, theoretically, be doable in a modern kitchen.

They are, sort of. One thing to keep in mind is that the author is European, and originally wrote this in 1986. She substitutes ingredients when giving her versions of the ancient recipes, based on what a modern cook is likely to be able to find. However, what a European cook could find in 1986 is not necessarily the same as what an American cook can find in 2010 (and there’s also a huge difference between what I can get in Boston, and what someone in the midwest would be able to get their hands on). She’ll call for spices like rue and lovage (which I’ve never seen for sale except maybe in an occasional farmers market), and then suggest you use garlic instead of silphium, when even the Romans themselves (after silphium went extinct) started using asafetida. Which is to say: the recipes are usable, but if you’re an experienced cook you can probably get closer to the original flavors by coming up with your own amalgam of her recipe and the English translation of the Apicius (and your own knowledge of cooking, of course).

Donald and I prepared and enjoyed a 3-course dinner: to start, we had assorted olives, focaccia with olive oil and rosemary (purchased, not homemade; my focaccia recipe called for potatoes, and obviously that’s not authentic), and cheese: a soft, ripe goat’s milk cheese (Brunet, from Italy); and a Pecorino Romano (Italian sheep’s milk cheese). Apparently, cows were mostly beasts of burden, and most of the cheese consumed by the Romans was made from sheep and goats. For our main course, we had pork and apple stew. Then, for dessert, we made something called globi, which I’ll describe more later.

Even the modern version of the pork and apple stew recipe called for garum and defrutum. For garum, the ubiquitous Roman fish sauce, I was going to substitute Vietnamese fish sauce. But when we started cooking, I realized I was almost out. So I ended up using anchovy paste diluted with a bit of Worcestershire Sauce. While not exactly authentic, I think it’s reasonable to imagine that Worcestershire Sauce was inspired by garum, since anchovies are a major component of both, and Britain was under Roman occupation for a while. Defrutum is reduced grape must, a product of winemaking. The closest we could get for this was grape juice concentrate from a winemaking store. (You don’t want concentrated Welch’s, because that’s from an entirely different sort of grape, the Concord grape, native to eastern North America. To Concord, Massachusetts, in fact.)

The dessert globi were made from equal parts ricotta cheese and flour mixed together, formed into balls, and deep-fried in olive oil. We were actually supposed to use lard, but forgot to buy any. Then you drench them with honey and sprinkle with poppy seeds. In appearance, the finished dish actually reminded me of an Indian dessert, gulab jamun. This is made from concentrated milk mixed with flour and deep-fried in ghee, or clarified butter; the finished fried balls are then (in India) soaked in rosewater-flavored sugar syrup. I didn’t think our globi tasted much like gulab jamun, though. In fact, I think I liked them better. We used whole wheat flour for our globi (though the Romans did have white), so the balls were quite dense, and you couldn’t really taste or detect the cheese. But then, soaked in honey, they basically ended up tasting like chunks of hearty bread drenched with honey.

The pork stew was also very tasty. It called for “Matian apples” (at least Apicius calls for them), but we used Braeburn instead (it was the best we could do at Whole Foods; it’s possible that we should have used Granny Smiths though, because the Braeburns completely fell apart in the stew). The meat was a mixture of cubed pork butt and ground pork meatballs flavored with fresh cilantro and garum; the stew also had onions (it called for leeks, but amazingly we couldn’t find any that didn’t suck), “defrutum”, more “garum”, red wine vinegar, honey, cumin, pepper, more cilantro, and fresh mint. Oh, and some chicken stock to keep it from drying out and burning. The grape juice concentrate, which is very dark red, ends up making the stew very dark and quite sweet, but as long as you don’t mind sweet main courses (which I don’t!), it’s good.

We decided that reclining at the table would be too much work, and Donald doesn’t like wine. (I could have gotten some, but he probably would have told me I needed to mix it with water in order to be authentic.) We did eschew the use of forks, which were not used as eating utensils until the 1500s.

It was a good dinner, and a lot of fun to prepare. We might do it again sometime. We still have 375 mL of wine grape juice concentrate, after all.

Posted in Cooking, writing | Tagged , | 7 Comments